


Good To Me

by Noahswriting



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, i guess, is soft, showho, this is soft, tiny little bit of angst??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 11:30:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17724347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noahswriting/pseuds/Noahswriting
Summary: Hoseok likes people. He likes to touch people when he talks, lean on them when he laughs and doodles on them when he’s bored. And if he’s being completely honest Hyunwoo doesn’t know if he’s extra touchy with him because he likes him or because he just feels really comfortable with him…Or if it’s just to spite that on and off boyfriend of his – option that he’d rather not think about. The thought makes him sigh because he thought about telling him how he feels about him before only to chicken out in fear of putting a strain on the easygoing and open friendship they already have.





	Good To Me

**Author's Note:**

> >  
>> 
>> I honestly don't have much to say about this one??? i started writing this a while ago and decided to finish it today so blame it on that for the uuhh...emotion shift in the middle of it??? I also apologize for the maybe abrupt ending?? I hope it's still enjoyable aklajsdla  
> 

***

“Hey Hyunwoo, what would you say if I said I’d want to kiss you?” Hoseok says suddenly, making Hyunwoo look up from his paper, his lower lip still caught between his teeth.

Hoseok is looking at him with big bright eyes, his head tilted to the side slightly as he waits for him to answer and even if Hyunwoo might feel like melting inside, he merely narrows his eyes at him.

“I’d say you’re trying to get out of doing your work.” He declares, raising an eyebrow as if the question didn’t just make his stomach turn all jittery – those drama classes he took back in high school have to come in handy sometimes. “Focus.” He adds, poking the other’s nose with the tip of his pen.

“But I’m serious.” The younger almost whines, dropping his upper body over the library table, peering at him from over the book he just raised in front of his face and does that ridiculous pout that makes Hyunwoo want to give him everything he asks for.

“Why all of a sudden? And don’t you have a boyfriend?” He asks somewhat nervously, mentally patting himself on the back for not stuttering. He knows he’s on some sort of break with the guy or something but it would just be wrong to him. He swallows thickly when he just keeps looking at him – he knows his cool façade won’t last forever.

“You have nice lips and you look like you’d be a great kisser.” He says, shrugging his shoulders – subtly avoiding the boyfriend topic – and Hyunwoo almost scoffs.

He’s known the guy for almost a year now and he learned pretty quickly how shameless and forward Hoseok is despite his partially innocent and overly sweet demeanor. From the moment he decides to be his friend, it barely takes Hyunwoo a few days to be completely smitten with him, only two weeks and a half to develop a crush on the blond and a mere three months to realize how in love he is with him.

Of course, he thinks about kissing the younger more than what is probably healthy but when it comes to Hoseok he’s a bit inclined on the romantic side of things and he doesn’t really feel like being an experiment because he knows his fragile heart will see too much into it.

Hoseok likes people. He likes to touch people when he talks, lean on them when he laughs and doodles on them when he’s bored. And if he’s being completely honest Hyunwoo doesn’t know if he’s extra touchy with him because he _likes_ him or because he just feels really comfortable with him…Or if it’s just to spite that on and off boyfriend of his – option that he’d rather not think about. The thought makes him sigh because he thought about telling him how he feels about him before only to chicken out in fear of putting a strain on the easygoing and open friendship they already have.

“Wait, are you considering it?” Hoseok suddenly asks with a bright grin and Hyunwoo realizes he took his silence as a sign of him debating his proposition – which he kind of was – but he settles on reaching over the table and gently pushing his head down toward his own book.

“Work.” He reminds him again with a small laugh and Hoseok huffs.

“ _Nunu_.” He almost whines and Hyunwoo stills, feeling the tips of his ears starting to burn at the nickname because the _one time_ Hoseok had called him that he had been a little more than tipsy and clingy, stumbling into his arms mouth falling open over his neck when he had exclaimed how happy he was to see. And while Hyunwoo was there to bring his drunk ass back to his dorm, it still didn’t deter his mind from working twenty steps ahead of what it would be like to have Hoseok all for himself like _that_.

Hyunwoo clears his throat feeling heat still creeping on his face because he truly thought Hoseok had forgotten everything about that night after waking up with what he called, _the worst fucking hangover of his life_ , but now Hoseok is looking at him with a little knowing smile as he leans forward again – Hyunwoo curses him mentally for being so observant when he pokes his burning cheek.

“Should I call you Nunu now?” The blond says playfully and Hyunwoo feels like sliding under the table so he doesn’t have to face the embarrassment as Hoseok starts to laugh. “Don’t worry your secret’s safe with me.”

Hyunwoo groans and decides that maybe he should get some other friends.

 

***

 

Apparently, Hoseok forgets about his request for the next following days because he doesn’t mention it again. But Hyunwoo also thinks he’s being extra _extra_ touchy with him and even one of his friends ask him if they’re dating – to which Hyunwoo becomes all flustered and stutters pathetically that they’re not.

Hyunwoo tries to ignore the dull ache in his chest when he sees Hoseok back with that guy again in the lecture hall a few days later – _tries_.

But then, on Friday night, there are three quick knocks on his dorm room and Hyunwoo considers ignoring it because it’s like 3 am but, sadly, it doesn’t go away. Hyunwoo sighs and shuffles sleepily to the door, squinting as he turns on the lights, noting that his roommate’s not in his bed and recalls him talking about a party earlier.

“Hoseok what are you doing here?” He asks when he opens the door and sees blurry blond hair, yawning and only realizing that his friend is sniffling and obviously trying to hide his face as he sits on his bed, back against the wall, and brings his knees up to his chest. “What – ”

“Come here, I need you to be my cuddle bear.” Hoseok tries to say steadily but he hiccups and Hyunwoo frowns, concern bubbling up his chest before sitting down next to Hoseok and wrapping a careful arm around his shoulders, unsure of how much he actually wants to let him in but Hoseok immediately settles against his side so Hyunwoo tightens his arm around him.

“What happened?” He asks softly after a few minutes, rubbing what he hopes are soothing circles on his back and side, still feeling shudders going through his body.

“Don’t wanna talk about it yet.” Hoseok mumbles, scooting even closer so that he’s almost sitting on top of him and burying his face in his neck.

Hyunwoo lets out a tiny sigh because he already knows it probably has to do with his boyfriend. He knows the two’s situation, they break up and make up more often than he thinks is healthy. He’s been on the end of Hoseok’s angry rants but something seems different this time, he usually doesn’t cry like _this_. So instead, he settles on humming a soft tune and lifts a hand to run his fingers through his hair and gently strokes his ear because he knows how it soothes him – he briefly wonders how all the bleaching never seems to affect the softness.

“We broke up.” Hoseok whispers sometime later and Hyunwoo almost jumps at the words because he thought he had fallen asleep.

The elder resists the urge to say something stupid like ‘again?’ and hums questioningly instead.

“For real _real_. It’s really over…I told him that if he left…” Hoseok trails off, voice breaking in a soft whimper and Hyunwoo feels his chest tighten at the miserable sound that he tries to muffle into his neck.

 

“Maybe it’s for the better.” He starts a bit hesitantly, he’s never been really good with detecting if someone just need a shoulder to cry on or if they want the reassuring words too.

Hoseok moves back a little to stare at him with bloodshot eyes, a barely noticeable frown on his face and Hyunwoo kind of holds his breath for a second because he looks so vulnerable and tired but he’s still so _stunning_ and Hyunwoo just wants to hide him and keep him from all the pain in the world.

“You think so?” He mutter playing with the neck of his t-shirt.

“Yeah…I mean…” Hyunwoo starts, licking his lips nervously because Hoseok’s _so close_ and Hyunwoo doesn’t think he even realizes how he can smell the faint remnant of his perfume and he just wants to bury his face in his neck and bask into how familiar and warm it is. “Don’t you think that if you need to break up all the time…Maybe it’s not the right person?” He says hesitantly, trying not to sound like he’s thought about telling him those words a hundred times before.

“I know...I know I haven’t been in love with him for a long time but it’s…we’ve been together for so long it feels scary.” He answers back, his voice wavering and his eyes tearing up again. “Why can’t I be with someone good?” He whispers and Hyunwoo wants to _scream_.

“You’ll find someone. Just give yourself some time.” He encourages, swallowing back any type of confession he would immediately regret, giving him a small smile.

Hyunwoo’s eyes shift over the younger’s face, the way Hoseok stares at him makes him antsy because he can’t tell what he’s thinking – he doesn’t quite have the time to process the way Hoseok’s eyes lower to his mouth before his mind goes blank when Hoseok leans in and presses their lips together – He’s suddenly reminded of that conversation they had before in the library.

Hyunwoo feels like he’s frozen and he doesn’t dare to move – doesn’t dare to breathe – but then Hoseok pushes harder against him, hands brushing the sides of his neck and he finds himself melting against him and kisses him back. His lips are just as warm and pliant as what he thought and the skin of his cheeks feels just as smooth and soft under his fingers. The kiss feels so good but there’s also that bitter taste to it. Still, Hyunwoo decides to ignore it because he’s wanted this for so long and Hoseok’s hands move down to fist tightly on his shirt while his own hands find place on his hips after Hoseok climbs onto his lap. Hyunwoo tenses at the thick thighs caging him, feeling the warmth and weight of them is enough to send shivers down his spine and he can’t quite keep himself from caressing and gently squeezing them. But the bitterness is quick to come back when he realizes – maybe a beat too late – how desperate Hoseok feels. How frantic and shaky his cold hands feel trying to slip under his shirt, the kiss turning more biting than exploring. This time instead of ignoring it for his own purpose, Hyunwoo pulls back a little.

“Wait…Seok, wait.” He mumbles against his lips and almost follows him when Hoseok listens and pulls back completely to look at him.

“What?” He breathes out, eyes in a sort of haze, hands tight on Hyunwoo’s stomach, a tiny hiccup leaving him and his lips are red and so inviting and Hyunwoo just wants to dive right back into it.

“I…I think we should stop.” He says, biting his tongue because he wants the exact opposite – wants nothing but to let Hoseok completely forget about everything but him.

“Don’t you want to sleep with me?” Hoseok asks, disappointment lacing his voice and Hyunwoo almost chokes at how forward his words are once again. “Just tonight…I need this.” He whispers and tries to kiss him again but Hyunwoo moves his hands from his thighs up to grasp his shoulders, feeling the muscles tense and spotting another tear roll down his right cheek.

“I can’t do this.” Hyunwoo says, swallowing thickly at how clipped the words sounds to his own ears.

“Do you not find me attractive enough?” Hoseok asks, deflating a little, voice all kind of meek but before Hyunwoo can carefully think of his next words – he knows about the younger’s insecurities even if he’s literally the most beautiful person he’s ever seen – Hoseok shuffles off of him and brings his knees up to his chest in a protective manner again. “’Cause I know you’re not against the whole one night stand, no strings attached thing. I know you slept with that guy in your psychology class just because you both felt like it.” He says and Hyunwoo feels at lost for words for a moment.

“You’re not being fair Hoseok.” Hyunwoo says seriously, a frown taking over his features. “You’re one of the closest person to me, of course there’d be strings attached.” He says but Hoseok still looks away from him.

They sit in a tense silence for a few minutes before Hyunwoo stands up with a sigh and goes to the small dorm bathroom to wet a towel. He walks back and kneels in front of the blond, wiping the drying tear stains on his face and pressing the cool cloth gently against his slightly swollen eyes. Hoseok sniffs and sighs at the refreshing feeling.

“I’d just feel like I’d take advantage of you.” Hyunwoo says quietly and Hoseok frowns down at him.

“It’s not like I’m drunk.” He mutters and Hyunwoo gives him a weak smile, exhaustion slowly seeping into him.

“No, but you’re hurting.” He answers simply and Hoseok moves his gaze away from him.

“Whatever…Let’s just sleep, it’s late.” He says and his voice lacks the bite it had earlier as he curls up on the bed facing the wall and pulls Hyunwoo’s blanket over his body.

Rubbing at his eyes for a moment, Hyunwoo considers sleeping on his roommate’s bed but decides against it because he knows Hoseok would be even more hurt at that. Quietly shuffling to turn off the lights, Hyunwoo climbs in his bed next to Hoseok and he tries to leave some distance between them but he can’t quite do that without hanging half off the mattress. Hesitating for a second, Hyunwoo slips a hand over Hoseok’s waist and hugs his back to his chest, pressing a kiss to his shoulder to let him know that he cares despite turning him down – he doesn’t say anything when Hoseok silently offers him part of his blanket.

 

***

 

Hyunwoo isn’t surprised when he wakes up alone the next morning. He knows Hoseok has dance classes out of campus on Saturday mornings – he still hoped he’d have skip it this one time – but what’s strange is when he doesn’t text him at all the rest of the weekend because Hoseok usually always at least sends him cute dog pictures, random facts or heartfelt words he’d consider putting into songs.

On Sunday night, Hyunwoo sends him a simple text asking if he’s holding up okay before he goes to sleep, figuring he might need time to himself, but when he wakes up the next morning he sighs because there’s no reply. He knows Hoseok’s seen his message since he’s practically attached to his phone 24/7.

The hurt and dull anger only truly flows into Hyunwoo’s system later that day when he falls on Hoseok exiting his class. He’s staring at his phone in his hand and when he looks up, their eyes meet but he doesn’t acknowledge him and promptly turns around, walking the other way.

Hyunwoo frowns, pulling out his own phone and quickly sending her a few question marks. He can see him look down and his steps falter slightly from where he’s standing but then Hoseok keeps on walking and the jab in his chest makes Hyunwoo wonder if this is really what he deserves for trying his best to be a good friend.

 

***

 

Hyunwoo’s never been one to chase after people. If they don’t want to talk to him, he leaves them be. So when Hoseok keeps avoiding him the next day too, he tries to swallow his hurt and stops trying to get his attention and decides to focus on his schoolwork instead – of course it doesn’t work and when Friday night comes, he’s close to banging his head on his desk when his thoughts keep drifting to a certain blond.

“Are you okay?” His roommate, Jooheon, asks when Hyunwoo groans and slouches back in his chair.

“No. I have a test on Monday and I can’t focus.” He mutters, angry at himself for not being able to think of anything else.

“Want my help with anything?” He asks and Hyunwoo gives him a thankful smile before sighing deeply.

“Well if you want to help me recite the names and emplacement of the 206 bones in our body or talk about my non-existent love life, you’re more than welcome.” He says and Jooheon gives a slight chuckle.

“That bad uh?” Jooheon asks and Hyunwoo simply hums because he doesn’t actually mean those words, he doesn’t want to bother Jooheon with his problems. “You know, Changkyun and I are meeting up with some friends for ice skating, you’re more than welcome to join us, get some fresh air.” He offers and Hyunwoo’s truly grateful but he still shakes his head.

“Thanks, but I think I’ll wallow in my feelings for a bit longer.” He says dramatically – and he is rarely dramatic.

“Alright, if you change your mind we – ” Jooheon interrupts himself when someone knocks on their door.

The younger stands from his bed to answer it, mumbling something about being supposed to be the one picking Changkyun up. But when he opens the door, Hyunwoo holds his breath for a second because he immediately recognizes Hoseok’s voice and he turns to see him smiling politely at Jooheon – Hyunwoo really hates himself for not telling Jooheon about what happened with him the past week when he lets the other in with a dimpled smile.

“Hey Hyunwoo.” He greets tentatively with a small voice and Hyunwoo only stares at him with a small frown because he truly doesn’t know how he feels at the moment – he’s torn between wanting to throw him out of his room and hug him as tightly as he can – he settles for crossing his arms across his chest.

“Changkyun must be waiting for me, I’ll go now.” Jooheon says a tad awkwardly while clumsily gathering his stuff, obviously sensing the heavy atmosphere in the room – Hyunwoo doesn’t blame him for wanting to escape it.

The second the door closes Hoseok’s face falls a little and he brings his hands together in front of himself, playing with the sleeve of his hoodie as Hyunwoo stands up.

“So you’re done ignoring me?” He asks and the words sound harsh even to his ears. Hoseok visibly winces a little at it and the blond looks everywhere except his face.

“I’m sorry.” Hoseok mutters and despite his large frame he looks so _small_ and sad and Hyunwoo feels anger building toward himself at how he can’t stay mad at him even if his life depends on it.

“Why did you?” He asks, not unkindly, but also not leaving space for excuses as he takes a step closer to him and Hoseok sends him a furtive glance before he lets out a deep, tired sigh, pushing a hand through his already messy hair – Hyunwoo tries not to think of how tired and uncomfortable he looks.

“I was ashamed of the way I acted.” He admits and Hyunwoo raises an eyebrow. “Coming on to you like I did? So desperately? That’s not me…” He starts explaining, stopping himself for a second and Hyunwoo can see a red tint coloring his cheeks and the shell of his ears before he sits on his bed with his knees brought up to his chest – much like the last time he was there.

“So you avoided me because you were embarrassed?” He replies, voice plain and void of emotion because ever since he’s known him, it’s the first time he hears something like this coming from the blond and he doesn’t quite follow.

“Before I came here last Friday…I didn’t tell you what we fought about.” Hoseok starts, ignoring his comment and Hyunwoo knows he’s talking about that now ex-boyfriend.

“No you didn’t.” He says, voice a bit sour at the mention of the guy.

“We fought about you.” Hoseok answers softly, quietly, almost as if he’s afraid to speak the words, finally looking up at him for more than a fraction of second with a tiny smile.

Hyunwoo ignores how his heart twists up in his chest at the way he’s looking at him and frowns because he doesn’t understand what he has to do with the two of them fighting.

“He thought we were too close.” Hoseok starts as if sensing his confusion. “He said I was too intimate with you and that you were completely whipped for me. Of course, I got mad and defended you and we started yelling at each other and I’ll spare you the details but when he left and I came to you…I starting thinking about the things he said…You’re always so nice to me. You listen to me. You put up with my shit all the time. Hell! I knocked on your door at 3am and you didn’t even care, you just listened to me cry and consoled me and I started thinking maybe you…”

Hoseok trails off, as if finally taking in the extent of his words and only then Hyunwoo realizes he’s holding his breath because, for someone who writes songs, Hoseok’s not one to talk about his true honest feelings quite a lot and right now Hyunwoo just wants him to finish that sentence.

“…Maybe you actually liked me…but I didn’t know how to say that so I kissed you and you kissed me back and I thought, maybe I can have this and why aren’t you my boyfriend yet? You’d be perfect…But then I realized I basically just threw myself at you and with the way you reacted that you probably just see me as a friend and I felt so _stupid_ when I woke up. Like I might have ruined things between us so I just…ran.” Hoseok finishes with a shaky breath, his lisp apparent with how nervous he sounds and Hyunwoo simply stares at him completely baffled by everything he just admitted.

“Hoseok…” Hyunwoo whispers because he can imagine being with him so easily – has pictured it more times than he’s willing to admit – and he wants to let his heart soar and believe all the words he’s saying but he also doesn’t knows if he truly means it or if it was just the fight and breakup messing with his feelings that night and seeking comfort from him.

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it…Thinking about you all week.” He adds, the red on his ears slowly spreading down his neck. “I thought it’d go away after a few days but it just got worse and I understand if you don’t want to have anything to do with me anymore but – ”

“Hoseok.” He says again, his voice louder than before and Hoseok stops talking, looking at him with wide eyes and anxious eyes and Hyunwoo _laughs_. He laughs harder than he did in over a week and there are tears at the corner of his eyes.

Through bleary sight he can see Hoseok looking at him with a mixture of hurt and confusion so his laughter dies down and he blinks a few times to clear his vision. He doesn’t really think about it when he grabs his upper arms and pulls him up. Hoseok lets out a small gasp and visibly holds his breath when Hyunwoo pulls him closer to him and presses their forehead together.

“Yeah…You’re kind of stupid but I’ve always been a coward so I guess I’m not much better.” He says and he can feel Hoseok frown and his finger hesitantly grasping at his biceps when he wraps his arms around his waist.

“W-what are you saying?” He stutters a little and Hyunwoo gives him a fond smile before he swallows back the sudden nerves and leans in and press his lips to his.

The kiss is soft and sweet and the exact opposite of the one they shared the week before and Hyunwoo can feel the happy tingle traveling all the way to the tip of his fingers and he smiles against Hoseok’s lips when he feels the younger’s finger tighten against his skin before he pulls back and looks at his face. It takes a few seconds for Hoseok’s eyelids to flutter open and the seemingly permanent blush on his face makes Hyunwoo’s heart soar even more – though he’s pretty sure he isn’t much better off.

“I’ve been in love with you for the longest time, you dork.” He whispers and he swears he can see Hoseok’s eyes sparkle – he realizes a second later that it’s tears building up.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He asks, letting his hands trail down Hyunwoo’s arms to grab his hands and bring him to sit on the bed – which Hyunwoo is glad because his legs might feel a little bit like jelly after all this. Resting his back up against the wall, it barely takes a second for Hoseok to cuddle up to his side, folding his legs up against Hyunwoo’s thigh.

Hyunwoo gives a small sigh and hugs him, pressing a kiss to his cheek simply because he can.

“I told you I was a coward. I never thought you’d be interested in me that way with the kind of guy you seem to date.” He admits and Hoseok scoffs, grabbing his right hand and lacing their fingers together.

“I think I’ve always liked you more than a friend.” Hoseok confesses after a few minutes of silence. “But somehow I think…I didn’t want to ask for more because I thought you’re so nice that you wouldn’t refuse so you wouldn’t hurt my feelings.” He adds and Hyunwoo hums quietly. “I didn’t want to trap you or something like that.” He shrugs and Hyunwoo snakes an arm around his waist to bring him closer and hides a smile in the side of his neck, not mentioning – but loving – the goosebumps he feels rising on Hoseok’s skin.

“You have no idea how fast I would’ve said yes to you.” He whispers a laugh right under his ear and Hoseok pulls his head back to look at him with an amused yet flustered smile.

“Still want to say yes?” He asks, leaning in to gently bump their noses together.

“I’ll think about it.” Hyunwoo sighs dramatically, reaching a hand up to cup Hoseok’s face, fingertips brushing his ear, and breach to short distance between them to kiss him again. Hyunwoo feels the short exhale Hoseok lets out as he tilts his head to kiss him deeper, the movement almost innocent but sending a buzz down Hyunwoo’s body before he pulls back and gives him that one look he’s _so weak_ for.

“And what if I call you Nunu?” He asks, batting his lashes and once again Hyunwoo can feel his face heat up when Hoseok starts laughing. “Works every time.” He boasts, Hyunwoo muttering about how he doesn’t even know why it affects him _that much_.


End file.
